ASK THE GIRL NEXT DOOR.

Navigation: Main page

Author: Beland, Nicole

Do women leave stuff--jewelry, hair elastics, clothes--in a guy's apartment on purpose?

Yes, I suppose there is the type of strategic manhunter out there who would drop an earring just to have an excuse to call a man the next day. But the rest of us nonsucky women leave things behind because we tend to be so frazzled the morning after, When it takes 10 minutes to find our left shoe, we aren't about to start hunting around for the hair elastic that came flying off around the same time you reached for second base. Either that, or we don't even realize it's missing. Okay, I admit that after a few months of dating, we will start to leave shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, contact-lens solution, tampons, and who knows what else at your place. But that's only because, unlike you, we can't survive on Right Guard, Dial, and Pert alone.

What's the key to making a woman feel truly sexy?

In order to feel sexy, a woman first has to feel beautiful, So start by telling her that she is. Not "You look beautiful tonight." Not "That dress looks beautiful on you." Say, "You're beautiful," in a straightforward, unsentimental way. Like it's a fact. Once that's been established, compliment her on a few things that are unique to her--the freckles on her shoulders, the sound of her voice, the way she walks. This will assure her that you find her attractive--as opposed to every other woman in the room--and in a way that doesn't depend on what she's wearing. The result is that she'll be confident around you, and it's confidence that really makes a woman feel and act sexy as hell. Now add a bottle of merlot, a 40-watt lightbulb, and Beck's Sea Change CD, and you're guaranteed to have transformed even the most prudish Mary Ann into a purring Ginger.

If women truly enjoy sex as much as men do, why do they make us work so hard for it?

Blame what I call the slut factor, From puberty onward, women are forced to feel guilt and shame whenever we give it up outside of a steady, monogamous relationship. Everyone from the football player we let up our sweater, to our friends, to our very own mother is likely to say nasty things about us for agreeing to a little innocent groping. Full-on sex? Forget it. Our name would be mud. After years of that kind of conditioning, even the strongest, most booty-loving women out there still feel a twinge of doubt when we wake up after a one-night stand. No matter how fun and amazing and harmless it was, there remains that nagging sense that it's bad for a girl to be easy. And deep down, even if you wish you didn't, you probably think so, too.

What do women want to hear after sex?

1. "You're amazing."
2. "You have such a gorgeous body."
3. "Don't move. I'll get a towel."

PHOTO (COLOR): In strip poker, all hands are winners.

PHOTO (COLOR): She gets more Ginger, you get more spice.

~~~~~~~~

By Nicole Beland