Chat Rooms and Adolescent Communication: Where Do Schools Fit In?

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Author: Shaw, Trevor

I can't think of a more appropriate name for this technology than “chat.” These are not discourse rooms, or argument rooms, or discussion rooms. Chat is a perfect description of what happens there. Adolescent banter pretty much sums it up�"not much different from what you might hear as you walk through any suburban shopping mall: “You suck.”

In between arguments about who rules�"Metallica or the Chili Peppers�"was an endless stream of request for the age/sex/location of other people in the room. In addition, many of the participants invited each other into private areas to continue more personal conversations once they found someone with the age/sex/location they were looking for. One 16/M/NJ was looking for a “young hottie with a Web cam who wants to chat.” I really don't even want to speculate on that one.

While most of this seemed pretty harmless, it occurred to me that this technology has changed not only the way kids communicate, but the way that they interact with each other in general. While some of the language sounded like a group of kids at the mall, the fundamental structure of the interaction was different. With distance comes security and self-confidence. The shy boy who approaches the cute girl and her friends and stutters out an awkward introduction no longer has any reason to be shy. “Hi, I think you're hot. Wanna go someplace private and talk?” This distance alleviates the obvious concern for physical safety that a girl has when meeting a stranger, and more often than not she will agree to continue the conversation in private.

Distance Breeds: (False) Security It is this distance and the loss of the basic external forces that influence appropriate behavior which have changed the entire nature of this conversation. In her paper “What Is Right and What Is Wrong” (see the Useful Resources list), Nancy Willard talks about factors such as empathy, punishment by authority, and peer disapproval as things that cause us to behave in an ethical way. She goes on to state that the distance provided by a computer can make it seem like these factors go away and take some people's inhibitions with them. While the loss of these factors can in some ways enhance communication by breaking down barriers such as appearance, shyness, and fear, they can also have the effect of dehumanizing the participants of an online discussion by reducing them to a string of text on the screen.

While there are positive and negative aspects to this change, the important point students must understand is that the change exists in the first place.

The distance created by online communication, while reducing the threat of immediate physical harm, creates new dangers that can go undetected at first. A predator is emboldened by this distance and the associated sense of anonymity. His appearance, which is his initial barrier to contact with a child, is no longer a factor. He can masquerade as a child himself until he builds a sense of trust in his victim. The victim is not only blind to whom he or she is talking, but also more bold and likely to continue a conversation because there is virtually no threat to one's personal safety while sitting in front of a computer in one's house.

There is a dangerous misconception that people who are victimized by online predators are grabbed against their will and dragged kicking and screaming into a van. The truth is quite the opposite. Most victims of online predators go willingly at first with their abductors. They feel safe because this stranger was able to build rapport with them over time. Choosing victims who seem shy and self-conscious, an online predator will appeal to a child's desire to be liked and accepted by seeming to share interests, agreeing with the child's tastes, and seeming empathetic to difficulties the child might be experiencing. The child begins to feel that this is someone who understands and likes them. To continue what seems to be a pleasant relationship, the child will say and do things to please the predator. Eventually, because of that feeling of safety and the rapport that has developed, the child will put him or herself into a situation where the possibility of physical danger is very real.

The nature of online communication creates challenges in teaching kids how to be safe online. Any instructional program that seeks to address these safety issues must first address the underlying adolescent values and behaviors that make chat room discourse what it is. We must then help students to understand how these behaviors and values, when applied to online communication without a good understanding of the fundamental social differences from face-to-face communication, can lead to very dangerous situations.

Blocking access to these sites that kids have unfettered access to at home simply sweeps the problem under the rug. Because we are teaching values and dealing with the affective domain, our methods must go far beyond the simple presentation of information. Honesty and frankness must characterize all discussions on this topic, and students must be encouraged to examine what they see in chat rooms and to explore why people behave in the ways that they do. A certain amount of salesmanship and the methods of presentation are just as important as the message itself if it is to have any effect.

One could make a case that topics of values and relationships are the primary responsibility of the parent and have little place in a school curriculum. But the fact is that most parents are uninformed about the behavior of their children online. In a recent Canadian survey of children's use of the Internet (see the Useful Resources list), 71 percent of adults surveyed said they knew a great deal about the Web sites their children visited, but 38 percent of children said their parents knew very little or nothing at all about the sites they visit. Nearly one-third of the children surveyed said that they erase the history file in their browser that records the sites they have visited. [For more on this survey, see “Keeping Up with the Kids in a Wired World,” by Anne Taylor, Co-Director of the Media Awareness Network, in the March/April 2002 issue of MultiMedia Schools.]

While parents have considerably more influence over the value system of their children than schools do, parents require instruction on both the nature of chat and what the potential dangers are. I would encourage parents to sit down with their children while they are chatting and ask questions. Have children explain what various abbreviations mean and why people say what they do. Parents might also visit a chat room themselves and try to get a feel for what goes on there. Schools can help by hosting workshops to discuss these issues and risks frankly and realistically.

Districts should also examine their curriculum at all grade levels to see where these topics might fit with existing units and lessons. If a health program talks about self-image, relationships, and respect for one's body, this might be an appropriate place to address behavior in chat rooms.

Children at different ages, perhaps starting as early as third and fourth grade, ought to be engaged in discussions on what they talk about in chat rooms and how these discussions differ from face-to-face ones. For younger children, these discussions might be as simple as remembering that people might not be who they say they are and how to keep personal information private. In older grades, it is important to talk more abstractly about how online communication changes discourse itself, and how these changes impact personal safety. Older students might be given statistical information and be asked if that information reflects the reality of their own experiences. They might also be given some hypothetical situations and asked to discuss the behavior of the participants in those situations.

However we address this topic, it is critical to understand that online communication represents a fundamental change in the way kids communicate with each other. If our goal as educators is to help children better understand the world around them and to think analytically about their physical and social environment, then we must take an active interest in helping them understand how this change has and will continue to affect them.

“Help Children Know the Risks of Chat Rooms,” Larry Magid, The Mercury News [http://www.larrysworld.com/articles/sjm%5fchatrooms.htm]

“Young Canadians in a Wired World,” a study by the Media Awareness Network, June and October 2001 [http://www.cfc-efc.ca/docs/mnet/risky]

“Online Victimization: A Report on the Nation's Youth,” National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, June 2000 [http://www.ncmec.org/download/onlinevict%5fexecsum.pdf]

“What Is Right and What Is Wrong? How Can We Help Young People Use Information and Communication Technologies in an Ethical Manner?” Nancy Willard, Responsible Netizen Project, University of Oregon [http://responsiblenetizen.org/documents/whatisright.doc]

In order to remain in control and to keep themselves safe, they must have a strong understanding about how an online conversation differs socially from a face-to-face one. They must understand what dangers are reduced and what dangers are increased.

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By Trevor Shaw, Director of Academic Technology Dwight Englewood School Bergen County, NJ

Trevor Shaw has worked as technology coordinator, consultant, speaker, and classroom teacher since 1993. His work has focused on staff development, curriculum design, and how new technologies impact teaching methods. He is currently the director of academic technology at the Dwight Englewood School in Bergen County, New Jersey. He can be contacted at shawt@d-e.org.