The Beat.

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Author: Duerson, Adam

Red Sox G.M. Theo Epstein has a thing for disguises. In 2005 he ducked out of Fenway Park in a gorilla suit after (temporarily) quitting his job, and last week he went to a Pearl Jam show in Boston wearing a fake mullet wig, glasses, a blue hat and a hooded sweatshirt so that he wouldn't be recognized. Epstein, who plays guitar in a band called Trauser, joined Eddie Vedder and the boys onstage for Neil Young's Rockin' in the Free World, dropping to his knees during a solo before flinging his hat into the crowd and revealing his true identity. (Two days earlier Epstein had hosted Vedder at Fenway; the rocker shagged flies during batting practice and watched the game in Epstein's booth.) Epstein will reprise his axework on July 12 for the Hot Stove, Cool Music concert at Fenway.

• David Beckham is hoping that England's World Cup campaign goes more smoothly than the pretournament charity bash he threw. Becks and his wife, Victoria, shelled out $1.2 million on a party at their Herefordshire estate. A few big names (Ozzie Osbourne, Ewan McGregor, Nick Faldo) made it, but several bigger names (Tom Cruise, Prince Charles, Elton John, King Juan Carlos of Spain) failed to show. To make matters worse, the lawn was flooded by rains, Posh bickered with the chef over the menu, and a flyover by three World War II--era airplanes had to be nixed so as not to offend the German World Cup hosts.
• Last year Steve Nash watched his pal Nelly Furtado perform at halftime of his charity foundation basketball game--Nash's mullet was the genuine article, by the way--and now Furtado is namechecking the Suns' star on her new album, Loose. In the song Promiscuous, Furtado (who, like Nash, is from British Columbia) sings, "Is it the truth or are you talking trash/Is your game MVP like Steve Nash?"
• Not everybody in Europe loves soccer. The Woothwaite House Hotel in Cumbria, England, is promising a soccer-free environment during the World Cup. TVs will show romantic comedies, sports pages will be removed from the hotel's newspapers, and anyone who hears a staff member talking about the tournament will get a free glass of champagne…. It used to be only tough guys could say they knocked out Lennox Lewis. But last week at Washington Square Park in New York City, four ordinary--and sedentary--Joes got the best of the former heavyweight champ in a speed-chess tournament. (Lewis played 18 matches.) Each won $1,000 and a certificate stating I KO'D LENNOX LEWIS. Said Lewis, who often played chess while training for fights, "[Chess and boxing] are similar in that it's one-on-one."

A pin position at the rain-delayed PGA Memorial tournament had to be changed because someone had defecated in the cup during the night.

TODD HELTON, Rockies first baseman, refuting a newspaper story that said the team was built around "a Christian-based code of conduct": "We're dirtbags, like 99 percent of the world. Maybe worse, because we are baseball players."

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By Adam Duerson

Edited by Mark Bechtel and Stephen Cannella